måndag 13 juli 2009


Den där listan med olika religioners svar på "Shit happens" har man sett rätt många gånger nu, men här kommer en med lite nya (?) varianter, som jag i alla fall inte hade sett innan, med en del ickereligiösa ... öhhm... världsåskådningar också:

Confucianism: Confucius says: "Shit happens"
Zen: Whai is the sound of shit happening?
Sufism: The wise man never notices shit happening
Christian Science: If shit happens, pretend it doesn't really exist
Solipsism: Shit happens because I wish it
Mysticism: Just experience shit happening
Asceticism: If shit happens, renounce it
Agnosticism: Nobody knows why shit happens
Gnosticism: I know why shit happens but won't tell you
Cartesianism: Shit happens to me, therefore I exist
Platonism: There is ideal shit happening somewhere
Epicureanism: Let's party while shit doesn't happen
Cynicism: Of course shit happens
Occultism: Shit materializes from other planes of existence
Terrorism: Shit will happen unless you do as I say
Pollyanism: It's so nice that shit happens!
Puritanism: S** can happen all day as long as you don't call it that
Behaviourism: You are conditioned to having shit happen
Freudianism: If shit happens, it's your mother's fault
Parapsychology: Shit happens without material causes
Surrealism: Purple shit happens near melting clocks
Cubism: If shit happens, you won't recognize it
Cultural relativism: Shit happens everywhere differently
Optimism: If shit happens, we'll find a way to use it
Pessimism: If shit happens, there won't be enough for everybody
Tabloid Sensationalism: Green shit from Mars happens to Elvis clone
Biblical Creationism: Shit happens because God created it
Secular Humanism: Shit happens because it evolved from primitive shit
Scientific Reductionism: If shit happens, find out what kind exactly
Scientific Obscurantism: Amorphous excrement does occur in given cases
Bureaucracy: I don't care if shit happens as long as you fill out the forms
Feminism: Women demand to have shit happen
Ecology: If organic shit happens, it's OK
Capitalism: Let's profit from shit happening
Socialism: If shit happens, let's distribute it equally
Patriotism: Our shit is better than your shit
Conservatism: They don't make even shit happen like they used to
Liberalism: Shit shouldn't happen tomorrow
Classical Physics: Shit does not 'happen', it just moves around
Quantum Physics #1: Shit happens but you can't say both where and when
Quantum Physics #2: Shit happens in discrete quanta called shitons
Holistic Physics: If shit happens, it happens everywhere at once
Microcomputing: If shit happens, we'll fix it in the next version
Computer Science: All shit can in principle happen on a Turing Machine
Applied Mathematics: The probabity of shit happening approaches unity
Engineering: When shit happens, paint over
Medicine: If shit happens, take two Aspirins and call me in the morning
Economics: Shit happens because there's a geat demand for it
Politics: If shit happens, make a deal with it
Diplomacy: Let's pretend shit doesn't happen

Den skojigaste jag vet är annars den som brukar anges för rastafarianismen: "Let's smoke dis shit"!

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